One Key Question to Liberate Yourself From Childhood

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 the most fundamental idea at the heart of modern  Psychotherapy is that in order to heal ourselves from our neuroses in the present we've got  to understand what went on in our childhoods though this thesis makes impeccable theoretical  sense there's one enormous problem with it Amnesia simply put almost no adult remembers a single  thing that happened to them before they were three years old countless days and nights a succession  of complicated moods Sensations and events will have vanished Into Thin Air like a library of  precious books that sent up in smoke or dumped unceremoniously into the sea furthermore most of  us remember very little of what went on before we were seven this may seem like an obvious point but  it has momentous implications a period that we've identified as extremely important is also going to  be entirely nebulous another basic fact of every childhood is that even though the past may have  been extremely strange and regrettable it will also in key ways now seem rather normal and Beyond  easy analysis or questioning our childhood is quite literally what we've grown up with and as we  know what's always been around has a habit of not signaling its Oddity we might sense that something  was peculiar around our caregivers but to really get a proper understanding of what these people  were up to tends to be far beyond our ordinary Powers we prefer to think of something else and  to run fast in an opposite direction this fixes us in a conundrum which entrenches our neuroses but  there is one extremely useful way to make progress we should look at ourselves in the present and  start asking ourselves questions everything we need to know about the past is actually contained  in what's going on for us right now we don't need to try to remember all sorts of things that have  in reality escaped our memories totally we just need to check in on who we are today the legacy  of the past will be active rich and vibrant for better and for worse at every moment of our actual  adult lives so one of the first questions we need to ask ourselves as archaeologists of our past  is what day to day in the adult world we are afraid of let's imagine a list of someone who is  asked to complete the sentence I am terrified of  being thought an idiot of being 

found ugly and unacceptable of being humiliated

I'm terrified of being thought an idiot of being  found ugly and unacceptable of being humiliated mocked and rejected I'm scared that people will  be extremely nasty to me now what we dread at the hands of everyone we meet nowadays is inevitably  going to be a version of what we once feared at the hands of very specific caregivers in a  very specific and yet very forgotten childhood this gives us a huge amount to go on indeed  it offers us nothing less than the tools for our recovery it means that we can take our list  as an archaeological map to guide our thinking self-questioning might go like this someone  terrified you of being an idiot so who might it have been and how did that happen someone found  you ugly and unacceptable so what might have occurred here someone has it seems arbitrarily  humiliated mocked and rejected you does that ring any bells someone probably gave you an experience  of extreme nastiness is this somehow familiar though we might not be used to thinking in this  way with such prompts at hand Rich and vibrant thoughts may rise up from the unconscious we might  get a new perspective on our caregivers and on what we underwent framed in this way we might see  with Newfound Clarity that quite a lot more was going on in those early days than we generally  like to imagine the what will be the next step we'll need to go back over the past with a lot  of patience and courage while also bearing in mind that what we've been projecting willy-nilly  onto every man and woman in the present and every difficulty we face in the here and now actually  had very particular Origins which the more we understand them the more we will feel liberated  and unburdened our future won't have to feel so constantly difficult or fear Laden once we can  trace back its real difficulties to a point of origin a Psychotherapy is always insisted and  promised remembering truly will set us free if you liked this film you can download our 

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